Have you ever heard of true colours (or colors if you are in the USA)? And no, I don’t mean the 1986 hit song by Cindi Lauper. True colours are the sides of people that you don’t usually see. Maybe there was a time where you thought you knew someone, and then something happened, and you saw a side of them that you had yet to see. Well, this is the second lesson that I have learned while living through the COVID-19 pandemic. If you recall, the first lesson I shared was about preparation. Today, I want to dive into how the true colours of people are showing through during this crazy time, including my own.
I want you to know that I am going to talk about both sides of this topic, the good and the bad—the positive and the negative. I am not the only one who has recognized this. Have you noticed anything interesting with your circle of people? And it is not just the people around us. I see it in politics, on the radio, TV, at the grocery store, and on the road. Like I said, some great and some not so great.
Have you noticed that there are people in your life who, before the pandemic, were positive, everything is great, life is great, not a care in the world people that have now changed their tune? Maybe they are grumpy, angry, feeling like nothing is going for them, and they are now calling you to talk about how crappy life is. And, when you hang up, you are thinking, ‘what in the world is happening to them?’ I have, and it spun me for quite some time because I never, ever, in a million years expected to be treated in such a way. It has come to the point where I won’t call them or pick up the phone if they call me. And that too was setting a negative tone in my life, and that was not good either.
How I Handle the Nellys
I began to think about why the sudden change in personality and temperament. Then, I started to realize they are going through this pandemic with fear and uncertainty, and those feelings are bringing out the worst in them. I also thought about the fact that they probably do not have the tools on how to prevent this side of them from showing. Or that they may not know they are treating others like crap and being so negative. I decided that by me refusing to take their calls or talk to them that it was adding more negativity to their life.
I also decided that for the betterment of my mental health, I could not invest a lot of time talking on the phone with them. Instead, I text them to check-in and see how they are doing. I send them quotes and funny memes. I also let others in our circle know that something is up with the said person, and we all need to check in on them.
Learning what I now know and connecting with the Nellys like I am, has also taught me that even though I am on the receiving end of their negative energy, that how they act towards me has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. It has to do with their mindset, their surroundings and the choices that they are making during this hard time. In the end, show some grace and know that it’s not you…it’s them.
The “Holy Moly…Where is All This Positivity Coming From?”
You may have friends that pre-pandemic were quiet, laid back and took what life gave them and made the best of it. Now, these people are posting, sharing and speaking so much positivity into the world that you have been taken by surprise by their true colours. They have become a refreshing breath of fresh air, and you are so happy that you have kept them as a friend. These are the people that you may not have connected with much before COVID-19. Now they are texting, messaging and maybe calling or even FaceTiming you.
The way they are handling the situation we are in is by helping other people. They are keeping their mindset strong by helping those who need encouragement. Recently, I heard Ed Mylett say this, and I was like ‘YES! That makes sense.’ So, allow these people to check in on you and don’t get frustrated by how much they do. They need it just as much as you do.
These are the people who care more than you know and will always be there for you, even without you knowing it. It is like your very own cheerleader has stepped out from behind the curtains and wants to see that you are handling the situation well. We all need the Holy Moly people in our lives. Just make sure that you, too, are checking in on them.
The Leader from The Shadows
There is a third type of person who is showing their true colours, and they were the unspoken leaders pre-pandemic. Now they are taking the lead in so many ways that they are attracting people they have not spoken to in a long time. They are posting helpful tips, information and positivity on social media. They are helping their friends, co-workers, clients, and strangers navigate through these unknown waters, in the hopes that they can help just one person figure life out.
The Leader from The Shadows has become a resource for many people and is happy to answer everyone and anyone’s comments and even responds to all the direct messages they receive. Their heart is to serve those who are hurting and/or in need. These people are rising to the occasion and have become a light in this dark time.
Even though the Leader is strong, focused and determined, they too need to be checked on. If you have someone helping you through this pandemic, or even prior to, I invite you to reach out to them and see how they are doing. Because they too have not so good days and need some encouragement to keep going.
What All People Need
In the end, there is a common thread weaving through these three types of people: We all need grace, love, and to be checked on every once in a while. Now, more than ever, this is true. Today, I invite you to reach out to 5 people. Simply say hello, send them a meme or a fun video. Ask them if they are okay and if they need anything. Let’s work towards moving away from being Nellys and more towards being a Holy Moly and maybe even a Leader from the Shadows.